Matters of Love and the Heart
I’ve been thinking about love today, and I haven’t gotten anywhere. This past week has been really dramatic and even terrifying for me, as I gave my heart—once again—too quickly to a girl. The problem is that she didn’t love me back, maybe because at times I neglected the “game” this world plays and chose to show her how I truly felt instead. So cast your stone if I’m wrong in this, but I still want to believe that it is better to love unconditionally and lose like a fool than to be a fake in your character and win the girl in the end. Maybe I’m just a romantic, or maybe it’s God’s nature in me. Whatever else I’ve learned about love over the years, I’ve realized that when it comes down to it, only two things remain that should leave you without regrets:
1) Walking with God
2) Following your heart
Obviously, you can’t only follow your heart, because your heart can be foolish and unwise at times. So if we must guard our hearts as well, then we also need someone to make the path for our hearts. You see, I didn’t fail in loving the girl; I failed in asking God exactly how he wanted me to handle the situation. Love is never the mistake, readers. Following your heart is a good thing. It is the only thing that is true for us to do, and it is the only thing that will satisfy us. Another question immediately comes into play, however: “How do I know if the person even deserves my love, or when do I stop?”
That’s where walking with God is highly necessary.
God can tell you to fight for that person’s heart, or to move on, or anything else he thinks is best. It sort of goes hand-in-hand, because that deep confirmation from God will somehow alter the desires of your heart and you’ll know more clearly what is right to do.
I don’t know a lot about love, it is way too complex of a thing to understand fully. One thing I know for certain, though, is that loving someone never promises they’ll love you in return, and if it is to be authentic—as it is your choice—you keep your Teacher close and love them unconditionally anyway, seeking nothing—Nothing—in return.. And God will leave the choice to you, the same way he left the choice to Adam and Eve in the garden, because real love, in its brilliance, must be left untamed.
Comments
1. rachel said...
I like the idea of this blog, but I must say I disagree with it as well. In Proverbs, I think it is, it says that the heart is the ultimate deceiver. I don't really think following your heart is the right thing to do when our hearts are human and erroneous. God's heart, on the other hand, is pure and wants better for us than our own hearts do. This is just a thought, but it's what I truly believe. Love in Christ.
3. Dan said...
Man, really we gotta take our hearts and lead them, not follow them. Feelings twist and flow like rapids on a river so you need to have a strong hand to navigate them.
How we feel changes so much and so many times that basing a decision off of feelings is really like building on shifting sands.
We need to be a people who have faith enough in God to truely love, to be able to say to both our friends, enemies, lovers, haters, parents, and unliked relitves that we love them and are willing to put their well-being above our own... thats where it comes in to expect nothing in return, because we shouldn't love in hopes of woeing someone over, or love only if we're loved first, we gotta be willing to care for someone else more than ourselfs.
"Love is a price
That You're willing to pay
to keep the ones that you love
from paying the same"
Sorry that it didn't work out for you, don't think it matters on what level but rejection always seems to hurt. But know, girl or no girl in the future, God just might have an amazing plan, eh?
4. DCT said...
Man this is a tough one. I recently had to end a relationship with was previously going really well. Out of nowhere I just lost my desire to keep the relationship going and I starting seeing all sorts of things about the other person that I didn't want to be married to. I prayed and prayed every day about what to do. Half-heartedly, I continued dating the person, waiting for God to speak and never really got a direct answer.
Some times I just want God to come down out of the clouds and with a resounding voice tell me what to do, but I know that's not how it works.
I finally decided to end the relationship and the other person is really hurt. Can't say I feel great about it but I think God just wanted me to make a decision. Still not sure if I made the right decision, but I am using my new "singleness" to getting consistent in the word and doing what the Lord wants me to do.
5. Matt said...
I am struggling with almost the exact same thing right now, and it stinks. Man, this is a real thought provoker and a tough, sometimes heart-wrenching, topic. I find myself spending too much time thinking about this very subject sometimes.
Very nice blog post btw. I especially liked the last paragraph. I need God to help me learn how to love without expecting anything back.
6. Becca said...
this blog reminds me of one of my favorite quotes..."a woman should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him to get her." So in other words they should just be seeking God so hard (and not each other) so that He can just bring them together in His perfect way.
and hey DCT, I was reading you're comment and wanted to let you know...that as you seek God during this single time, as you give your heart fully to Him, if His plan for you is to marry that girl...then He'll bring her back. Don't look for it and hope for it because she may not be the one, Just focus on His face. He had a plan for you from the beginning, when He created you in the womb, He saw you're future, He planned it out, He planned who you would marry, and if You seek Him, His plans for you will be fulfilled.
God Bless!
7. R.A. said...
Wow, this reminds me of my life right now...I'm in love with my best friend, but I'm just keeping it in so I don't lose him as a friend.
I've thought at times that God's been telling me that he is the one and to just wait. I just can't be totally sure though. But for now, I'm waiting. I'm still young, so I know I have time. Waiting is basically the only thing I can do right now.
Thank you for this blog. It's given me renewed strength in this waiting time.
2. Logan said...
Wow Ben, I really really like this a lot. This part really stuck with me:
"You see, I didn’t fail in loving the girl; I failed in asking God exactly how he wanted me to handle the situation. Love is never the mistake, readers. "
Nice blog post, man :) .
9/24/2009