Let's rewind to late 2008/early 2009. I lived in Topeka, KS. My girlfriend, Sharie (pronounced Shawr-ee, not Share-ee) lived in Cuero, TX. I wanted to be with Sharie. She wanted to be with me. We prayed a lot, and I ended up moving to Texas to be with her. As of now, I've been in Texas for about four and a half months. Recently, her and I came into a tight situation where we needed to depend on God's provision in a way we never had to before. Saying that it's an easy thing to do would be a lie. It's hard. It's freaking hard. So we've been praying and having our friends and members of the body of Christ pray for us, and we've come to what seems to be the conclusion: I'm moving back to Topeka, and she's coming with me. Though it's obvious that I'm excited about getting to go back home and see my friends and family again, I'm also a little torn. 1) I've grown attached to Sharie's friends, and it's hard to leave them. 2) I know what it's like to leave everything behind and move 700-something miles away, and I'm afraid for her to feel the effects of that. Sometimes I feel bad about doing it, like I'm being selfish, but my pastor told me that's just Satan trying to make me feel bad about listening to God and doing what He wants me to do. 3) I don't understand it. Why would God tell me that it's okay if I move down here, only to send me back after five months (it'll be almost five by the time we roll out of here). I just don't get it. It makes me realize that I don't know everything, and that I don't have to know everything, and that, really, I wasn't designed to know everything. If I did, faith would be an impossibility for me. I'm only human. But still, I wish I did understand what God's doing. I guess I'll just wait for Him to reveal what He wants to reveal to me, and try to be content with that.
Monday, July 13, 2009