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Marriage


Jesusfreakhideout.com President and founder, John, is taking the plunge into marrital waters this month (June 21, '03), and we've decided to help celebrate the joyous occasion with a special interview feature dedicated to marriage and relationships. Special thanks to all those who took the time to share their experiences!
This interview is dedicated to my new bride, Amy.



  • Jesus freak Hideout: How has marriage changed your life?
    Jeff Frankenstein (of the Newsboys): Well, I eat better now & Iím a lot cleaner! No, seriously, marriage has made my life so much more fun! We have a great time together... we laugh a lot... weíre pretty retarded at the Frankenstein household.
    Jeni Frankenstein: Ya- we definitely have fun... weíre more like goofy kids hanging out than anything else. I think weíve learned just to slow down a bit & enjoy life. We both have busy schedules... life goes by so fast... weíre just enjoying the experience together with our little family... the two of us & our cat, Lilí Kim. Sheís from the ghetto & sheís ALL attitude. Hence the name.

  • JFH: How did you guys meet?
    Jeni: Jeff & I met at Busch Gardens in Tampa, Florida a long, long time ago. We were friends for several years while I lived in Orlando. We started dating in early 1998 and I moved to Tennessee that summer. The details of our meeting are top-secret...

  • JFH: My fiance and I are finally tying the knot on June 21st, 2003, what kind of advice would you offer to newly weds? Jeni and Jeff
    Jeff: Be vulnerable & open. Be honest. Donít take things too seriously. Be careful what you say because you can apologize, but you canít take it back. Be gentle with your marriage and cherish your spouse.
    Jeni: Never forget why you fell in love with each other in the first place & donít stop trying to win your spouseís heart. Donít get home from the honeymoon and start wearing crusty sweatpants every day & stop caring about what your spouse thinks just because theyíre yours now & they canít get away. Make the effort- do the work- read books on relationships- go on dates- most of all, have a good time!

  • JFH: Can you share a brief funny or standout moment from you and your spouse's honeymoon?
    Jeff: Our wedding was in Detroit, Michigan, where Iím from. It was the middle of December and the middle of a snowstorm! There was like 4 feet of snow on the ground & although it was beautiful, it was also freezing outside! When we left the reception, we went to a honeymoon suite at this really nice hotel in a town called Birmingham to spend one night & then go to the airport the next morning to leave for New York. We were so tired when we got to the room & we hadnít had anything to eat all day. We took all our luggage in and tried to turn on the lights. Nothing. We ran around flipping all the switches... none of the lights would come on! Not necessarily a bad thing in this case...until we realized the carpet in the living room was soaking wet! There was some kind of leak somewhere and the floor was drenched! We had to have a hotel handyman come up and fix it all...
    Jeni: But the rest of our trip was fabulous! It was just a rocky start. :)

  • JFH: Currently, what has God been teaching you about relationships and what quick advice could you give to teens caught up in the dating scene these days?
    Rebecca St. James: I think the thing I've learned most recently about that whole courtship / dating thing is the importance of openness and honesty. I think a lot of people today make it a game with elements of deceit in it and a user mentality and God's not about any of that. And like even with my last relationship, I think it was one of the biggest things we both learned through it. I mean I've always been an honest and open person but we both grew in honesty and sharing our hearts and where we're at; and when there was a bit of conflict or a misunderstanding, talking that through in love. Just kinda sharing it and how to do that. Cause as girls we're just so open and just want to share everything and the guy can get their defenses up and say stuff and get offended -- so just how to share it graciously.

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Tiffany Arbuckle Lee (of Plumb): I've learned to die more to self which enables me to put Jeremy's needs before mine. It also helps me appreciate the value of the church, as the Bride of Christ, and validates my relationship as my husband's bride, putting it in the correct perspective.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Tiffany: Always be a team no matter what we're a part of - be it in business, our home, church, friendships, family, etc. Jeremy and I share a common goal while each of us having a different "job", if you will, that compliments the other as opposed to competing with one another. We share in those things while still being able to appreciate one another's gifts and hold one another accountable at the same time.

  • JFH: Can you share a brief funny or standout moment from you and your spouse's honeymoon?
    Tiffany: Besides the obvious... we bought a lottery ticket on our trip and actually won $547,236.00. No, Iím kidding, but wouldn't that have been great? Seriously though, we got trapped at the Paris, France airport from a mistake the Venice, Italy airport made that could've gotten a lot worse had my dad no worked for the airline and had a connection to get us back to the U.S. (it was quite stressful for a bit).

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Justin McRoberts: In more ways than I can really say. In short, I am and am becoming, a more complete person. To share my everyday with someone, both the dark and the light, seems to validate my experience of life. The simple knowledge of being known as my wife knows me fills a large void in me that I donít know I even recognized before getting married 4 years ago.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Justin: Make a list of all the things that bother you about the other. Then ask yourself what you are going to do when none of those things ever change. This is an exercise in allowing Godís grace to be the cornerstone of your relationship. If we go into our marriage expecting our spouse to change the things that bug us, we set ourselves up for trouble. But if, instead, we set out to love unconditionally, we allow room for God to change us in ways that balance out each otherís weakness.

  • JFH: Can you share a brief funny or standout moment from you and your spouse's honeymoon?
    Justin We were having a romantic evening in our little cabin on an island north of Seattle, and had settled down to bed early so that we could drive into Canada the next day. I had lit some candles (romance, candles, etc...) and left one burning on top of the television across the room from our bed. When I woke up at roughly 2 AM the room was a little brighter than I expected. This mainly had to do with the flames which were devouring the TV. It cost us an extra bit to have the set replaced. But I get this fun story to tell.

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Kalel (of Pillar): It's hard to put into words. I have a perfect helper in life.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Kalel: Always try to help out around the house - if you are a guy.

  • JFH: Can you share a brief funny or standout moment from you and your spouse's honeymoon?
    Kalel: Our toliet in the MGM Grand overflowed and the whole bathroom flooded. We had to put towls in the door way so it didnt flow into the room.

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Chris Thomas (of The Elms): I tell ya, it's messed everything up royally. Not really, but of course it's been a big change. Everything on my "to do" list is different now. I used to make sure I met my fishing, bowling and sleeping quota. Now I'm a grocery shopping, house cleaning, laundry-doing machine. In my down time, I stare at the ever-growing stack of make-up and beauty products that have drained my bank account. Yet, even after all the heartache, I wouldn't trade my decision to marry for the world.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Chris: Offer? I'm still seeking advice myself. Actually, if anybody has a few tips, I'd be much obliged. In the short time that we've been married, we've made an effort to pray together, and I don't mean saying grace. Asking God to bless all aspects of your life, including your marriage, is a great habit to form.

  • JFH: Can you share a brief funny or standout moment from you and your spouse's honeymoon?
    Chris: Just being together for a solid week was more than either of us could've asked for. Nothing we did that week was out of the ordinary, but everything we did was extraordinary because we were married. Of course, seeing the world's largest ball of twine at a Ripley's Believe It Or Not museum comes in a close second.

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Jamie Rowe (of London Calling / formerly of Guardian): Well, the stock answer is to say "I learned how selfish I truly was..." and I have to say, in my case, that was 100% true. You learn to be concerned with your spouse's needs equally and above your own. I played the involuntary role of "insensitive bonehead" quite a bit early on. I've gotten better.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Jamie: Only listen to London Calling the week of your wedding. That way we will always hold a special place in your heart! Oh and also... Be committed to the Lord and each other! Be ready to protect yourselves from the darkness that will attempt to unravel your marriage!

  • JFH: Can you share a brief funny or standout moment from you and your spouse's honeymoon?
    Jamie: Our honeymoon consisted of a week cross-country trek to our new apartment in California. We were young and broke, so we did what we could. We stayed in a lot of budget motels along the way and the closer we got to L.A., the more coin we would spend. Taco Bell in TN and Marie Calendars in AZ. My wife went for a swim in Phoenix and some drunk guys were yelling at her and whistling. I came out of the room... one guy offered her a beer and I walked out and told the guy... "No thanks, my wife doesn't drink". It was the first time I referred to her as my wife in public. That in itself was cool. But the guy looked at me and said "That's your wife?" And then cussed and went back into his room!! DENIED!!!

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Christine Glass Byrd (of GlassByrd): In so many ways. Fundamentally, my relationship with Marc has given me hope. It is easier to believe in a loving Father when you have someone who loves you so well right here on earth.
    Marc Byrd (of GlassByrd / Common Children): Marriage has brought joy to my life and humility. It has given me a center, a point of reference, a home.

  • JFH: My fiance and I are finally tying the knot on June 21st, 2003, what kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Christine: Congratulations! Get some pre-marital counseling from someone you trust. And don't be afraid to fight every once in awhile. And small kindnesses go a long way.
    Marc: Let your wedding day be YOUR wedding day. And communicate!

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Ian Eskelin (of All Star United): It is great to have a partner to share life with. My wife Peggy is from NJ, so the biggest change for me has been her attempt to turn me into a knowledgeable Yankees fanatic. But, she doesn't realize that I don't like hockey.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    KJ-52: Get ya money straight, learn to forgive, learn to communicate and, most of all, enjoy it!

  • JFH: While on that topic... have you ever been to Disney or Universal in Orlando? If so, any suggestions for a couple of honeymooners with any must-see stops while in those parks?
    KJ: A zillliiion times! I was raised in FL. Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, two dopest parks, no doubt. The Bible Theme park is kind of cool too.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Jon Foreman (of Switchfoot): Aw man, love each other! Your pride is such a venomous animal and it pops up its head everywhere. You can never kill it, but you can be aware of it and you can beat it down the best you can. That's the most dangerous thing when it comes to love. John: Cool, yeah, cause we hear a lot of discouraging things about marriage. Be afraid! Be fearfully and wonderfully made, y'know? Be ready to take both ends of that.

  • JFH: My fiance and I are getting married this summer and our honeymoon is in Disney World and Universal, have you been there?
    Jon: Disney World? I've been to Disney World, but Disney Land is a lot closer. John: What do you recommend around Disney World? Oh dude, they've got some really cool things down there. I moved from Virginia Beach to California, right? We went through Disney World -- it's not really on the way, but anyways... There were some places where you could go and they've got pools and it's just really relaxing. It's beautiful, it's really nice! Very "Disney," y'know? Very clean, there's no trash laying around. John: No rides you recommend? No, no, it's a family type place.

  • JFH: How has marriage changed your life?
    Brian Peterson (Media Office at Sparrow Records): It's given me a different perspective on what's really important in life.

  • JFH: What kind of advice would you offer to newly weds?
    Brian: Be patient.

  • JFH: Can you share a brief funny or standout moment from you and your spouse's honeymoon?
    Brian: Our 2nd night in Maui and we were off for a night on the town. We took the shuttle to a local spot where we'd be dining. On departing the shuttle, my wife, dressed in high heals and a summer dress missed the last step. Fortunately she came away with only a small bruise. Unfortunately the normal 3-5 people that would usually be waiting to board the shuttle happened to be a group of 50 or so tourists that night. I had departed slightly ahead of her turning back just in time to see my new wife's graceful exit. Her slightly sunburned face, quickly took on a brighter shade of red as we limped through the barrage of "are you okay's." After escaping the crowd we were able to find refuge on a bench, regroup and continue on with what turned out to be the perfect evening. Moral of the story - don't let those little bumps and bruises steal the joy out of your marriage.

     

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    Music Out This Week

    This Friday, December 14
    3C Live Good To Me (Live) [DREAM]
    Lauren Daigle Look Up Child (Vinyl) [Centricity]
    PEABOD Anti-Social - Single [Centricity]
    Smalltown Poets Carol of the Bells - Single (independent)

    NEXT Friday, December 21
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