I met a pretty girl the next town over

Running like a river, thin and long

Other than her dress

She looked mighty well depressed

So I asked this little lady what was wrong

She said, “All my life I’ve tried to be an outlaw

I’ve tried to spit and chew and steal and rob

But I ain’t no good at thieven’

So I might as well be leaven

I think I’m off and go get a job”

I told that pretty girl, “Don’t be so foolish

Don’t be so quick to leave a life of crime

See I’ll be quick to call it

You can practice on my wallet

And that way if you’re caught you won’t do time”

Just rob me!

Just rob me!

A pretty face like yours don’t come for free

If I can call you honey

Well then you can take my money

So darlin' keep your gun

And just rob me

I see the girl again a few months later

To see her with my gun was a relief

I said, “Honey you’ve got attributes

Like lace and lips and high heeled boots

But dearie your just no good as a thief”

She said, “Mister how do you know that I’m failin’

I might as well robbed twenty banks today”

I looked her in the eyes

And said, “Miss, I’d be surprised,

You’re pointing that there gun the wrong way.

Just rob me

Just rob me

Money never did grow up on trees

See, you’re no good at crookin

But you’re mighty fine at lookin”

Oh, darlin' keep you gun and

Just rob me

Maybe every woman is an outlaw

I’m pretty sure they’re pretty thieves in black

They’ll make you scream like smoke

And then they'll rob you broke

But I suppose don’t mind being robbed like that

So my pretty thief and I started a family

Yeah my outlaw’s been given me inlaws

She kept her thievin art

Sure as rain she stole my heart

But she tells me it’s all for a worthy cause

Just rob me

Just rob me

Deep down my darlin’ is a thief

Oh, she may do the dishes

But I pay her for my kisses

I know it’s not malicious

She’s just in the thievin business

She calls herself my Mrs.

But she’s got me by the britches

I say honey

Take the money

Just rob me!