Get the new FREE JFH MP3 compilation -- Vol. 14!
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JFH Song Lyrics

  Artist List   /   John Reuben   /   Professional Rapper


         


03. I Haven't Been Myself

Professional Rapper
by John Reuben



 

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me
I can’t catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t
Or can I?
Man I’m gone
I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit
Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me
Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget”
But I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I’ve become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

 

 

 

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This Wednesday, October 29, 2025
ALBUMS
Brandon Lake Amazon Music Songline [Provident]

SINGLES
Tikae Maestro Dwell (ft. Kingdmusic) - Single [Tribe Rua]

This Friday, October 31, 2025
ALBUMS
1K Phew What's Understood 3 [Reach]
Sherwin Gardner Christmas Glow [Wings]
Hope Deferred Darkness Remains [The Charon Collective]
Vic Lucas The Journey [Syntax]
MORIAH Nice Life - EP [F2]
River Valley Worship First Light / Last Word - EP [BEC]
SEU Worship What A God [Live at JOGS] (feat. Abbie Gamboa) - EP [Provident]
Testimony of Apocalypse Agony in the Garden [Roxx Records]

SINGLES
Alphein Working - Single [Syntax]
Chris Caro It's Okay - Single [Syntax]
Drea LP & OnBeatMusic Still - Single [Syntax]
Dreamers My Heart His Home - Single [DREAM]
Dust and Grace He Made It All - Single [MTS]
Roxanne Grace Try Again - Single [DREAM]
Jericko Skeletons - Single [Syntax]
Kingdmusic Speed Dial (ft Mégan Rose) - Single (independent)
The Light Superior Ghost - Single [Rottweiler]
Lock & Chi Do To Me - Single (independent)
John Long Simple Pursuit - Single (independent)
My Place Was Taken Rude Awakening - Single [Rottweiler]
No Vain Glory ROYALTY (CHOSEN) - Single [Syntax]
Polished Arrow Music LOTW - Single [Polished Arrow Music]
Poor Old Lu The Hurting - Single (independent)
Razzie & Joz NEW PETRO (ft. 4KL) - Single [Syntax]
Saints in Exile Pain is My Best Friend (At My Best) [ft. THE EXILED] - Single [Syntax]
Jordy Sam Hard Days (ft. IAN) - Single [Syntax]
Silent Reflection The Air - Single [Syntax]
Still Remains The Wound and the Weapon - Single (independent)
Warren Zeiders How Great Thou Art - Single [Warner]

This Saturday, November 1, 2025
SINGLES
Relentless Pursuit He Is Coming - Single (independent)

Next Friday, November 7, 2025
ALBUMS
Biscuits Country Fried LoFi - EP [Circle Back]
Jekalyn Carr JEKALYN X LEGENDS [WayNorth]
DAMIAN DAMIAN [DREAM]
Josh Garrels Peace To All Who Enter Here, Vol. 2 (independent)
Amy Jay Mnemonics (independent)
(UN)WORTHY From the Belly of the Beast - EP (independent)

SINGLES
Gracie Binion Gunpowder - Single [BEC]
Damian If I Should Fail - Single [DREAM]
Good Things Collective Rejoice! - Single [Real Fun]
Hillside Recording Everlasting Father - Single (independent)
Ian Austin, Heather Suzanne Somewhere Far - Single (independent)
Tasha Layton Christmas All Year Long - Single [BEC]
Life.Church Worship Tanto - Single (independent)
Sacrificial Betrayal Take Risk - Single (independent)
Zane Walls YOU ARE THE FIRE (feat. JontheKid) - Single (independent)
Rhett Walker Carol of the Bells - Single [BEC]


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