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Professional Rapper  cover
03. I Haven't Been Myself
Album: Professional Rapper
Artist: John Reuben
         
 

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me
I can’t catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t
Or can I?
Man I’m gone
I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit
Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me
Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget”
But I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I’ve become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better


 

More Lyrics from Professional Rapper

  1. 01. Move
  2. 02. Have No Opinion?
  3. 03. I Haven't Been Myself
  4. 04. Life Is Short
  5. 05. Treats
  6. 06. Freedom To Feel
  7. 07. Time to Leave
  8. 08. Re-Record
  9. 09. Jammin' John & Mixin' Manny
  10. 10. All In All
  11. 11. 5 Years To Write
  12. 12. Higher
                 
Listen to the new album from ENOK

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This Tuesday, September 15
SINGLES
Grace Frances The Promised Land - Single (independent)

This Friday, September 18
ALBUMS
Anthony Brown & group therAPy Full Disclosure [Tyscot]
Cory Asbury Outsing The Angels [BEC]
Bellsburg Sessions Back to Bellsburg (The Songs of Rich Mullins) [Old Bear]
Franni Cash Here I Am [Capitol CMG]
for KING & COUNTRY the most beautiful colours [Curb Records]
Hillside Recording Proverbs & Prayers (Morning) (independent)
Jaye King All God, Not Me [Centricity]
Living Again Living Again II (independent)
Joseph O'Brien What's Good For Me? [Gotee]
Set For The Fall I Said What I Said [Vere]
Zauntee GOD REMEMBERS [BEC]

SINGLES
2 Lane Summer Lean On Me - Single [QHMG]
Alphein HIGHER - Single [Syntax]
Chris Caro Outcast - Single [Syntax]
ChristianXXII Lift Me Up - Single [Dream]
Anne Elise Changing - Single [NCS]
Evelyn Cormier + Rain City Worship The Lord Is My Shepherd (Psalm 23) - Single [BEC]
Dex the nerd who loves Jesus I'm So Old School - Single [Syntax]
Dreamers The God Who Goes Before Me - Single [Dream]
eddieM Your Way - Single [Syntax]
Exline Key West - Single (independent)
Future of Forestry Density of a Star - Single (independent)
Grace Graber Jericho - Single (independent)
Josh Grove I'm Done Running - Single (independent)
EJ Swavv, MAYIA WARREN & Bill B. God Did - Single [Syntax]
Harvey Watkins Jr. and The Canton Spirituals Still Winning - Single [WayNorth]
iNTELLECT, Elan Brio Good Vibe - Single [Polished Arrow]
The Kingdom Heirs I Take It To The Lord - Single [Sonlite]
Leem of the Earth The Greatest Gift - Single [Velvet Blue]
The Lighthouse Boys America Bless God - Single (independent)
Steven Malcolm Kick It To My Twin (ft. DreBreeze Da Godson & DKG KIE) - Single [Curb]
Miles Minnick, Lecrae, nobigdyl. Christlike University - Single [Reach]
Kevi Morse It's your time - Single [Syntax]
Lloyd Nicks Can't Take My Eyes Off Heaven - Single [Curb]
Northview Worship Praise God for His Mercy - Single [BEC]
outr.cty Beautiful Dreamer - Single [Syntax]
Matthew Plante GOD FEARING! - Single [Dream]
Q-Flo Wild Flower 8 - Single [Syntax]
QEW & Cyrus Sonata Majin - Single [Syntax]
Xander Sallows hidden treasure - Single [Dream]
Allan Scott Foxhole Prayers - Single [Dream]
Victory House Worship Returning - Single (independent)
Tauren Wells Here Comes the Church (feat. Tiffany Hudson) - Single [Capitol CMG]
Matthew West Younger Me - Single [Story House / Provident]
Whosoever South Y'all My People - Single (independent)

VINYL
Newsboys Not Ashamed [Magenta] Vinyl [Girder]

Next Tuesday, September 22
ALBUMS
PFR Target & The Arrow (independent)

Next Friday, September 25
ALBUMS
Altarheart Prone To Wander [Rottweiler]
ANTHNY Worship Leader's Diary [SONY/Provident]
Brotality Jaws of the Earth (independent)
Forsaken Eternity Shades of Existence - EP [Rottweiler]
gio. PROMISE LAND [Capitol CMG]
Red Worship Witness (independent)
Stryper Throne of Thorns [Frontiers]
We Are Messengers Halfway Home [Curb]
Matthew West Jesus is King [Provident]
The Wood Drake Sessions East to West (independent)

SINGLES
Mackenzie Phillips Made - Single [Gotee]
River Valley Worship King of the Empty Grave - Single [BEC]


For all release dates, click here!
 

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