Ladies and gents, well I take no offense
No, I'm not who you're here to see
And it won't be long till the headliner's on
And then you'll be done with me

So don't rack your brain, no you've not heard my name
Or a single song of mine
And if you need to go potty, well it's out in the lobby
But I'd go now while there's still time.

Cuz I'm the opening act, don't get much time
Maybe four tracks or five at best
So I play only songs that I hope make you long
To go out and buy the rest
And it is okay if I choose to be shameless
Cuz tonight I'm not getting paid
So as soon as I'm able, I'll be out by my table
Telling you about my MySpace

Well I wish I could say with the truth on my face
That the reason I'm here tonight
Is cuz they like my songs and they just can't go wrong
Without the opening I provide
But the truth is I'm cheap, and I don't take much space
Because it's just me and my guitar
So when I get to the solo, well I'm up here alone
So I'll just have to whistle that part

Yeah, I'm the opening act, don't get much time
Maybe four tracks or five at best
So I play only songs that I hope make you long
To go out and buy the rest
And it is okay if I choose to be shameless
Did I mention I'm not getting paid?
So as soon as I'm able, I'll be out by my table
And if you buy a CD, well you're enabling me
To put bread on my plate, take my wife on a date
Well I better stop now before you tune me out
But don't forget about my MySpace