All alone in an evil dream I see myself up high
And it's me over you with my arms spread open wide
I try to run from the place I know that I can be set free
Come away come away there's a sweet voice calling me
To the killing tree

I look around at all the faces who are passing me
And I run try to run with nails in my feet
All the time I was building castles on a sandy beach
Leading you leading you to a place I'd never been
To the killing tree
Come on

I know what you're asking me and I don't wanna give
'Cause it's safe and I know 'cause I've been here all these years
All the precious pain I hold without it there is fear
And I'm afraid when you say that you'll get me outta here
To the killing tree
Come on

Come away to a place of healing

So now I run to you and I move from night to day
For to live I must die and there's still no other way
I was alone in an evil dream but you took my place up high
Now it's you over me with your arms spread open wide
On the killing tree
Come on



Behind the Song:
The killing tree is a song which speaks of the paradox of death and life. It is a song of surrender and of salvation. The singer finds himself/herself in a dream where they are trying to save themselves. It's a bizarre almost heretical position because for the believer it is blasphemous for anyone to believe they could take the place of Christ. As the song unfolds, that is precisely what is revealed: that there is a part of us that wants to try and take Christ's place because it is too humbling to have Him, the personification of goodness, die for us. The singer admits that he/she is running from the only place where freedom is truly possible. There is mention of a 'sweet' voice that encourages the singer to 'come away' to...the killing tree. Is the sweet voice good or evil? Purposely ambiguous! There are many people on the road and it seems that many are passing the singer by. Why are they passing him/her by? The singer reveals that it is because it is hard to run with nails in your feet. Another crucifixion image that symbolizes helplessness, brutality and torture. The the singer gives another reason why people may be passing by. He/she was building a house on a sandy beach and not on the rock. This is an image from one of Jesus' parables in Matthew about the wise and foolish builders. The singer then admits hypocrisy; that he/she has lead people to somewhere that he/she has never been: the killing tree. The next verse is a confession that basically argues that pain becomes a security for the singer; a kind of precious friend. To let the pain go would mean freedom which is what everybody longs for but at what cost? Total reliance on Christ. Something that seems to bring great fear into the heart of the singer. Having said that there is a hint of hopeful desperation in the voice. He/she hasn't said I don't want to leave my pain but instead 'I'm afraid when you say you'll get me outta here'. I'm afraid but I've got to leave. So the question is asked, Which do you prefer? Your pain and therefore familiarity and comfort or Christ plus nothing equals everything? The next statement speaks of a place of healing. Is there some transformation occurring in the singer? Certainly when the lyric is accompanied by the audio there is a lift from the minor chords to major chords. This in the history of western music at least, has often represented a shift in mood from sad to happy. There is a wind of hope in the song now, it's not all struggle and gloom. Has the singer discovered something? The last stanza reveals a major shift and a change in the original image from lines 1 and 2 of the song. The singer moves from 'night to day' and experiences something life changing. Now someone else (Christ), has taken his/her place 'up high'. To me one of the biggest reasons contemporary society is disinterested in christianity is that too often the well meaning christian doesn't really grasp the fundamental concept of God's grace. Therefore there comes from the christian a condescending judgmental spirit that leads to drastically patronizing phrases such as 'non-christian' 'un-churched' 'un-saved', all of which have a negative pre-fix. The world at large is tired of being made to feel guilty through religious control and is seeking freedom. The christians have failed in their attempt to convey that God's love is so HUGE and that true freedom is found in Christ. My songs are an attempt to get to the core issues of the 'God factor' and grapple with some of the fundamental struggles. The killing tree traces the journey and eventual salvation or conversion of a broken man/woman. From self reliance and self hatred to freedom through the unlikeliest for mediums: death to self. The world says that if you want to find yourself you need to look in. Jesus says if you want to save your life you need to lose it. He is the bench-mark, He lost his life and then found it and as a result so can we. Paul Colman Feb. 2000