itís only illusions
splinter: story behind the song - by Jon Foreman
Our consciousness is a strange and remarkable gift. To know, to discern, to choose- what a miracle!
And yet, there are moments when my sanity comes into question. Times when I feel close to the edge of reason and folly, when I recognize how fragile my mental stability truly is. And maybe I’m not the only one‽
Hypnagogia is the technical term for the transitional state of consciousness between waking and sleeping. During hypnagogia, it's common to experience involuntary and imagined experiences. Your body is at rest, but your mind has long left the room… racing from hopes to fears, from facts to fictions, futures to phantoms.
The instability of 2020 made it hard for me to get to sleep. My thoughts would go racing forward, and for the first time in my life I knew what an anxiety attack felt like. Of course, if my mind needed any help getting weird, on my bedside table there’s a screen filled with distractions, illusions, allegiances, and more. But I don’t need war on the TV, or on my phone. No, the battle is much closer to home. My mind is at war. I lie awake in bed.
The trouble is with me, for I am all too human… I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate… I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway…
“Who can take these broken splinters from my head?”
I love Tony’s daughter’s voice in this one. Originally, the chorus felt much more abrasive and brittle. I asked Tony if he knew of a singer that could lend her voice to the track to help smooth my vocals. And he suggested Z. She’s amazing and, being that Switchfoot is a family band, I love that the Berg family is well represented on the album.
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