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Professional Rapper  cover
03. I Haven't Been Myself
Album: Professional Rapper
Artist: John Reuben
         
 

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better
I'll see you when I'm better

It’s gotta get worse to get better
It went from no way, never to okay, whatever
Slowly but surely and sure as sure is blurry
Now things that once were me are no longer
Every so often God reminds me
But I’m always there in front to blind me
I value my pride more than peace of mind
My precious pride
There was a time when I had control but I let it go
I watched the world pass in slowmo
My life’s ahead of me
I can’t catch up
Stuck in a rut
I went too willingly
These thoughts are killing me
I wish I could control myself but I can’t
Or can I?
Man I’m gone
I hope I’m not here for long
It’s just a visit
Ashamed of who I’ve become
It’s not really me
Or is it?

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better

Thoughts lead to emotion which led to action
I hate the fact that it happened
“The Lord can forgive and forget”
But I’m not able to do it
Maybe there is where the problem lies
I’m unable to forgive myself plus I’m too proud to ask for help
Whelp, sorry for who I’ve become
I guess circumstances can leave you numb
Plus, I refused accountability
It seemed like such small things you found in me
I called you secluded and illuded to the fact that your concerns were silly
Don’t over-react
Now looking back in hindsight, heh
I’m able to see that you were right
Is it too late for me?
I know it’s not
It’s just up to me to choose to stop

I’m not alright, I haven’t been myself lately
I’m not okay with the way I’ve let my thoughts overtake
Take me away to the place I should have gone
I hope I’m not here for long
I’ll see you when I’m better


 

More Lyrics from Professional Rapper

  1. 01. Move
  2. 02. Have No Opinion?
  3. 03. I Haven't Been Myself
  4. 04. Life Is Short
  5. 05. Treats
  6. 06. Freedom To Feel
  7. 07. Time to Leave
  8. 08. Re-Record
  9. 09. Jammin' John & Mixin' Manny
  10. 10. All In All
  11. 11. 5 Years To Write
  12. 12. Higher
                 
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This Tuesday, November 10
SINGLES
Seth Davey A New Dawn - Single (independent)

This Wednesday, November 11
ALBUMS
Anberlin Currency [Equal Vision]

This Friday, November 13
ALBUMS
Blanca A Christmas To Remember [Curb]
Amy Grant Tennessee Christmas: 10th Anniversary Edition [Capitol CMG/AG]
Lily Hooten Promise Land [Anotherland]
The Lofi Christian & Commons Worship The Commons Lofi (independent)
outr.cty Green Skies, Blue Grass [Syntax]
Jackie Hill Perry Still Blameless (Deluxe) [Velvet Blue]
Leem of the Earth See [Velvet Blue]
Tye Tribbett V20: First Semester (Live) [Freligious]

SINGLES
Chris Caro 10 YEARS IN A MINUTE - Single [Syntax]
Cutright The Curtain - Single [Syntax]
Jordan Feliz Fast - Single [Centricity]
Josh Grove Glory - Single (independent)
Living Again Get This Far - Single (independent)
Magdalene Rose the terrifying reality of it all - Single [Rockfest]
Hunter Plake Silver Bells - Single [BEC]
Matthew Plante OVEN MITT! - Single [Dream]
Jordan St. Cyr Angels We Have Heard On High - Single [BEC]
Amelia Wells At Your Feet - Single [Hope Lane]
Natasha Zimbaro Emmanuel - Single [Wings]

VINYL
Anberlin Currency Vinyl [Equal Vision]

Next Thursday, November 19
ALBUMS
NEEDTOBREATHE The Long Surrender and The Fellow Passengers of Pain [UMG]

Next Friday, November 20
ALBUMS
Gabrielle Lovelace The Secret of Christmas [Old Bear]
Mountains in the Sea Breakthrough - EP [Dream]
New Wine Worship Ready For More - EP (independent)
The Rogers Family Let's Sing a Song About Jesus [Horizon]
Will Morrison, Calm Worship Collective Christmas Music - Instrumental Piano Holiday Songs (independent)

SINGLES
Francesca Battistelli Messiah (Cinematic) - Single [Curb]
Gracie Binion O Holy Night - Single [BEC]
John Long love deep - Single (independent)
Chandler Marie Merry Christmas Mary - Single (independent)
Hunter Plake Silent Night - Single [BEC]
Matthew Plante PRAISE DANCE! - Single [Dream]
Run51 Wishlist - Single [Dream]
Mike Weaver Homecoming - Single [Curb]

For all release dates, click here!