Jesusfreakhideout.com celebrates 30 Years online in 2026... Get Your Music - and everything else - on Amazon! All purchases made on Amazon through this link earn a commission for Jesusfreakhideout.com!
Get the new FREE JFH MP3 compilation August 13, 2026!

Professional Rapper  cover
11. 5 Years To Write
Album: Professional Rapper
Artist: John Reuben
         
 

This vulnerability is kiling me internally
Not feeling much stability and I wish it could be easy
But it dont seem to be and so, I'm going to take it to the only place that i know to go
And lay these feelings in the hand of the creator
God of creation You show me how to relate to her
Meanwhile, I'm thanking You for lessons being learned
See my feelings have been shallow but I've watched my heart turn
Yes, she looks good, yes she looks fly
But deep down I know there's something more inside
Just like I'm praying that there's more in me
So when I look at she I just don't see naturally
Not saying physically, that I'll deny the attraction, but all in all that's just a simple satisfaction
That can be obtained through a glance of the eye
This was five years ago, man how time flies by
Beautiful soul full of spirit
I wonder if she'd hear it if I told her that she had a
Beautiful soul full of spirit
A few year later...
Her mind intrigues me
It leaves me sort of sick
Wondering what makes the mystery chic tick, history thick of pages and pages
Telling stories that can't be summed up in quick phrases
She's observant so she's seen my behavior
It's got me nervous wanting to stay away from her
I pray for her daily as well as perspective,
Battling with pride and thoughts of being rejected
And that's just not appealing
It's almost enough to make you disconnect your fellings or something
And try to move on and give them to someone else but yet
I care for her more than I care for myself
Man who needs this
I'm not even good with commitments
Plus I value my independence
In the end it's probably just a waste of time spent
Or maybe there's something more to this relationship
What's the point of caring when it hurts so much
If this is what love comes with I'd rather not touch it
In all honesty the outcome is uncertain
And I do run the risk of walking away hurting
Searching for clarity, spare me the dispair
I'd rather be alone and not even care
Than to share my trust because you can't control fate
So maybe I'll be alone but at least it's safe
I know that's stupid
Probably my insecurity
Or maybe God is using this to get through to me
Because in the back of my mind I'm always aware of her
Pushing me towards prayer and bettering my character
Making me think about the man I want to become
Regardless of the situation's outcome
Fast forward a few years into my life
Man this song about my wife took me five years to write


 

More Lyrics from Professional Rapper

  1. 01. Move
  2. 02. Have No Opinion?
  3. 03. I Haven't Been Myself
  4. 04. Life Is Short
  5. 05. Treats
  6. 06. Freedom To Feel
  7. 07. Time to Leave
  8. 08. Re-Record
  9. 09. Jammin' John & Mixin' Manny
  10. 10. All In All
  11. 11. 5 Years To Write
  12. 12. Higher
                 
Check out JFH's Lloyd in his first-ever childrens book!

Search JFH



This Tuesday, November 10
SINGLES
Seth Davey A New Dawn - Single (independent)

This Wednesday, November 11
ALBUMS
Anberlin Currency [Equal Vision]

This Friday, November 13
ALBUMS
Blanca A Christmas To Remember [Curb]
Amy Grant Tennessee Christmas: 10th Anniversary Edition [Capitol CMG/AG]
Lily Hooten Promise Land [Anotherland]
The Lofi Christian & Commons Worship The Commons Lofi (independent)
outr.cty Green Skies, Blue Grass [Syntax]
Jackie Hill Perry Still Blameless (Deluxe) [Velvet Blue]
Leem of the Earth See [Velvet Blue]
Tye Tribbett V20: First Semester (Live) [Freligious]

SINGLES
Chris Caro 10 YEARS IN A MINUTE - Single [Syntax]
Cutright The Curtain - Single [Syntax]
Jordan Feliz Fast - Single [Centricity]
Josh Grove Glory - Single (independent)
Living Again Get This Far - Single (independent)
Magdalene Rose the terrifying reality of it all - Single [Rockfest]
Hunter Plake Silver Bells - Single [BEC]
Matthew Plante OVEN MITT! - Single [Dream]
Jordan St. Cyr Angels We Have Heard On High - Single [BEC]
Amelia Wells At Your Feet - Single [Hope Lane]
Natasha Zimbaro Emmanuel - Single [Wings]

VINYL
Anberlin Currency Vinyl [Equal Vision]

Next Thursday, November 19
ALBUMS
NEEDTOBREATHE The Long Surrender and The Fellow Passengers of Pain [UMG]

Next Friday, November 20
ALBUMS
Gabrielle Lovelace The Secret of Christmas [Old Bear]
Mountains in the Sea Breakthrough - EP [Dream]
New Wine Worship Ready For More - EP (independent)
The Rogers Family Let's Sing a Song About Jesus [Horizon]
Will Morrison, Calm Worship Collective Christmas Music - Instrumental Piano Holiday Songs (independent)

SINGLES
Francesca Battistelli Messiah (Cinematic) - Single [Curb]
Gracie Binion O Holy Night - Single [BEC]
John Long love deep - Single (independent)
Chandler Marie Merry Christmas Mary - Single (independent)
Hunter Plake Silent Night - Single [BEC]
Matthew Plante PRAISE DANCE! - Single [Dream]
Run51 Wishlist - Single [Dream]
Mike Weaver Homecoming - Single [Curb]

For all release dates, click here!